I feel like the last several years, I have not really been thinking about what I want in life. I have been ignoring it, and listening to what others want or tell me I should want. It is kind of a depressing statement to make, that which I just said, but I think that it is really easy to do, especially with the perfect lives depicted for us, everywhere, in magazines, and tv, and movies. Over the past few months, I have been thinking a lot about this. I guess I have a friend who has forced me to think a lot about what I want in life. Unfortunately, I have never been able to answer him straightly, because I haven’t really known, I have just kind of guessed at the answers, only to be kind of upset with my self afterwards, because the answers that I gave were not right. I was not lying, I just did not know. I don’t know if he has heard any of what I have written below before, except for the part about having a porch. So, to my friend, and to everyone who reads my blog:
I thought I would tell you what I want in life.
I want a porch or a balcony, or a courtyard, some kind of outdoor space. I want a big kitchen. I want a library. I want kids and animals: dogs, cats, chickens, donkeys. I want to be married one day. I want a studio, I want to work. I want to have enough time in my life to bake, and cook. I want to be cozy. I want to have room enough to entertain my friends. I want to have Sundays to do nothing specific, and enjoy the people I love. I want to help people. I don’t want to make buildings that are ridiculous. I want a vegetable garden. I want a big dining table, and I want to have family dinners as often as possible where any of my friends can attend. I want to go on my morning runs. I want a big bed with nice sheets. I want a good sounding stereo. I want to be healthy. I want to have old mixing bowls, and nice pots, and pans, and knives. I want to be surrounded by art.
I want to cook for my friends, and make furniture, and art, and houses.
I want a partner in crime!
I want someone to go on adventures with. To sit around and be quiet with. I want someone to be busy with. I want someone to share joys and pains, excitement and frustration. I want someone to love. I want someone to bake for and to cook with. I want someone to smile at in the morning. I want someone to call. I want some one to hug. And someone to hold my hand. I want some one to learn with. I want someone to dream with. I want someone to kiss. I want someone to travel with. I want someone to touch my skin. I want someone to undress me. I want someone to kiss every inch of me. I want someone to rub my head while we lay on the couch together. I want someone to make a family with. I want someone to trust with all of my heart. I want someone I can tell anything to. I want someone to make me laugh, and who I can make smile.
I guess I picture this life some where rural, but I don’t think it has to be. This is based off of what I know now. I am certain most of my wants will stay the same, and that some will change, and I will add new ones to this as life goes on.
I have always dreamed of buying up a down town. Since I can remember. I have always dreamed of these big giant schemes. Not a big place but a small town’s down town, slowly, and using it to sell things, and bring life back into the cities, and spread the love of art, music, food, and community. I have wanted to encourage a certain love of education. I want to have an art gallery, and a restaurant, and a print shop, and a wood shop, a place for rock and roll shows and an architecture office but only to do little projects and competitions. I want to employ teenagers, and people who wouldn’t normally have jobs in these types of places. I want to make a place for elderly, who are usually home bound to be able to get out of the house, and socialize, and have purpose. I want to have an after school program that encourages a healthy life. I want to make a beautiful place. I want to help people, locally. I want to see community flourish where it has disintegrated.And maybe one day it will happen. that is just one of my dreams.
What do you want?